For some reason, I recently got to thinking about gift cards, and how much of a huge scam they are. I haven't recieved any recently, I've just been thinking about them, and how horrible a gift a gift card really is. Let me explain.

For some reason, in recent years cash and checks have been regarded as poor gifts. As one who thoroughly enjoys the linen texture, promise of infinite possibility, and even, yes, the earthy scent of cash, I don't really understand this. I think cash is a wonderful gift. It's usually condemned, however, as a thoughtless gift, only given because one cannot think of anything that the receiver would actually want. (Nevermind the possibility that the gift-receiver might actually _want_ cash. Heaven's no!) Instead, the old saying that "it's the thought that counts" reigns supreme, and we're supposed to buy each other actual things for gifts, because it's presumed then that the giver had to think about who they were getting a gift for. Nevermind that people just tell each other what they want for their birthday/Christmas/Bar Mitvah/wake, such that the giver really has little thinking to do, but really just a task akin to grocery shopping. It's still considered more _polite_ than giving cash.

Perhaps the issue is that a gift should fit the receiver, and cash fits anyone, so by default it doesn't count. Instead we're supposed to think hard and get something that fits just that one person at that one time. I'll be honest - I think that's okay. It makes sense - a gift is supposed to be a gesture of closeness and familiarity, and so, while I'll admit that it rather cheapens the point to just buy what someone flat out tells you they want, getting a gift that "fits" seems the right thing to do. And while I think that this is probably the reason that cash was initially declared an unacceptable gift, it's been lost, and now all we have is the statement that cash is thoughtless. We're not necessarily required to think real hard about a gift, but we can't give cash - even if cash would "fit".

Enter the gift card. It's probably one of the most popular gifts to give today, and I can only see it getting more so, until people realize how amazingly retarded it is to get them. We're not supposed to get cash as gifts, but we don't want to think real hard - "oh! I'll get him a gift card!" Right? Because honestly, you don't really have to think that hard about it - a gift card to Borders will work as a viable gift to anybody but the illiterate. Hell, they even got movies and music at Borders, so it'll work for anyone who isn't illitereate, blind, and deaf. That narrows it down to all but about twenty-six people in the history of humanity.

But here's the kicker - it seems like you thought about it. People will get a gift card to Borders and say, "Hey, thanks! There was this book I was thinking about getting but I didn't have the blah blah blah" and they go on about how they're going to go get that book now because they have a gift card to the bookstore. They act like you got them that particular book, as though you're so in touch with them that you knew they wanted it, and got them the gift card just so they could. But you know what? You didn't. You were at Borders, buying the damn gift card, and passed that book on the shelf on your way in, and didn't notice the damn thing, didn't know they wanted it. Didn't even know that book existed! But it looks like you did. People will really appreciate it, even though you didn't actually do anything impressive - that gift card could've been sitting in your desk drawer for three months with a stack of others, while you waited for a birthday to come up, so you could give them away. That's right - those gift card you've been receiving? I guarantee that you've received at least one from somebody who just buys them en masse, and gives them to everyone. And you thought they really put effort into it. Shame on you for your naivety.

Now, I'm not going to go so far as to say that everyone does this with gift cards. Some people really think about it, and come to the conclusion that a gift card is a good idea. Some people really, genuinely give them as gifts. And, I think, most people really believe they're being sincere when they give one, even when they're not. My issue is not with the people that give gift cards, really, but with the whole concept of the gift card itself. We give them, really, because we can't give cash because it's "thoughtless," but it's too hard to actually think about it, so we give something that isn's cash, but works just like it. And that's where my real problem is - gift cards are really nothing more than a cash surrogate, but one that only works at one place. It's like money, but not as good.

Why not as good? Because, as I said, it only works at one place. Cash works everywhere. You give somebody cash, and they can buy whatever they want. When you give cash, you're admitting that you couldn't think of anything to give them, so it's like you're giving them the opportunity to give themselves whatever gift they want. A gift card is hardly different, except that now they can buy whatever gift they want SO LONG AS they buy it at Borders/Best Buy/Nordstroms or wherever the gift card came from. When you give a gift card to someone, you're giving them cash, but you're taking away their freedom to spend it how they want. Now they _must_ shop at some place.

Think about it. Would you rather have a $35 Best Buy gift card, or $35 cash? Cash, of course, because with cash, you could go shop at Best Buy, but you don't have to. You could also go gas up your car or buy groceries or shop for clothes. But with that gift card, you must spend it at Best Buy. You _must_. Nowhere else will take it. It's like retailers are issuing their own private currencies, and we're exchanging our money for theirs so we can shop in their stores. Oh, but did I mention that they also take our American money? Oh ya, they do. So why do we exchange for their money? *shrug* Because it's the thought that counts, I guess.

I can already hear some of you objecting. "But Ian, he might find something he really likes at Borders that he might not have otherwise found because he didn't think to go there. By giving him a reason to go to Borders, I helped him discover something he wanted." I hate that argument, and I've heard it before. When you give someone a gift card, you're giving them a "reason" to go shop at some particular store. Is having money a viable "reason" to go shopping, anywhere? It doesn't sound like one to me. One should go shopping because they already have something in mind they want to buy - not because they've been given special money that only works at one place. You're right though - they might find something they like and buy it. But they obviously didn't _really_ want it, because they didn't even think of it until they went to the store. Saying that you're giving someone a reason to go shop is just frivolous - we shouldn't be trying to encourage people to buy things they don't want or need just because they can afford it.

That's like giving someone a bunch of pesos because you think they might enjoy a trip to Mexico. They never thought to go to Mexico, but now that they have all these pesos to spend, they have a reason to go. Having pesos is not a good reason to go to Mexico, and having money is not a good reason to go shopping. Nor is having a gift card.

And if somebody didn't really want to shop some place? If somebody hadn't even thought of anything they wanted at Best Buy? Well, they'd better think of something now, otherwise your to them gift will expire. And they will - they always do - but there might've been something they actually had thought of before to buy somewhere else, and they could have, if only you had just given them cash. But now, they're preoccupied with thoughts of Best Buy. Now they'll go buy something they didn't really want or need, just because they could, because they felt obligated to do so. They'll buy something that they would never have bought with actual money, because it was overpriced or they didn't really, really want it, even if you had given them the cash, so it wasn't even cash they had earned by working. They'll spend a gift card haphazardly, because, after all, it's not really money. It's like money. But it isn't.

And that's the thing - a $35 Best Buy gift card is not really worth as much as 35 American dollars, because it only works in that one place, so it isn't _really_ money anymore. We don't value it as much as real money, because we know it's nothing more than unredeemed credit - that promise of infinite possibility I was talking about with cash? Not so with a gift card. There's just a promise from Best Buy, and that promise is subject to change without reason, expires in eighteen months, and is only redeemable for electronics, music, and movies, subject to whatever happens to be in stock at my local Best Buy retail store. Being less valuable than cash, then, might make you suspect that stores will give you a cash discount on gift cards, like, maybe a $50 Borders gift card only costs $45 American. But no - they rip you off, and charge you face value - they claim that a $50 gift card is really worth $50, and charge you accordingly.

So think about what you're doing when you buy a gift card: You're giving them your money so they can give you the same amount of money back. Both forms of currency will work in their store, but the kind you just got from them, the kind you exchanged your American dollars for, will _only_ work in their store. So...why did you get it, again? Just keep your good American money that works everywhere, and let the store keep their private currency. It's all the same to them, but it's very much different for you, and for the person you plan to give the gift card to. Just give them cash. Frankly, it's far more thoughtful than a gift card.